Category: Creature Horror/remake of established IP
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All I have to say is, way to shit the bed, guys.
Horror afficionados of the late 90s and early 2000s would remember the original Jeepers Creepers and the legend of the near-unstoppable humanoid creature that feeds on humans for 23 days every 23 years. There was a slightly campy quality about the original trilogy (even if the third was made 14 years after the second) and while humanoid creature horror is nothing new, Jeepers Creepers had enough going for it to…warrant a reboot?
Yes - a reboot was made. No - you're not missing much.
The plot goes as such:
As a prelude to current day events, an elderly couple get caught in the Creeper's trap after seeing the synonymous dark truck the creature drives around. Fast forward a couple of decades where we see a young couple make their way a Comicon-style horror festival being held in Louisiana (cue spooky voodoo references) where the couple just happen win the opportunity to go to a plantation house-turned-escape room. Various members of the group get picked off.
The Creeper wants its pounds of flesh, but it also takes a liking to the young woman because it turns out she is pregnant. The people who the Creeper hasn't picked off work then work together to…impale the Creeper...with a weather vane…located on the top of the house.
Fucking genius idea…and in a truly deus ex machina moment, the contrived plan somehow works and all is well with the world again, right as the cops turn up.
That's about it. People get killed in horrific ways, good guys survive, bad guy/creature/thing doesn't.
But seriously, this movie sucked. I actually felt lousy after watching it.
Why? First, some of the effects are really shitty. ESPECIALLY that last shot looking back at the house once all the killing is done…I get that there are budgets and restrictions, but this was lousy to the point of detriment.
Second, while it's a bit rich to complain about realism in a story about a supernatural creature that feeds on people every 23 years, it is quite unbelievable that a killer creature that can hit a target with a throwing star from the next state over just somehow has a problem with multiple people hiding behind doors.
Thirdly, the story just isn't that compelling. The main characters are so annoying and unlikeable that I actually wanted them to captured and killed just so the movie could end quicker.
And until I find and review an even worse horror film, this one will sit firmly in my "Steer Clear!" pile.
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